she kept yelling 'call me bella'
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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