4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Oh god it's open bar.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize