tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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