you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
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He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
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I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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