not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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