I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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