I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
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Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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