I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
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I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
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antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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