Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize