I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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