Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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