but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
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When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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