her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
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You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
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I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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