oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize