I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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