It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
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i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
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He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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