so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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