So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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