he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
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I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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