I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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