so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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