She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
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The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
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I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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