you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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