The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize