you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize