so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize