Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize