I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize