my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
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You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
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Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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