Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
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it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
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what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize