so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
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I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
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I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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