She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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