At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
His hands were made for my vagina.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize