WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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