his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
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you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
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In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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