I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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