i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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