ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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