Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize