I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
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It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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