Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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