and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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