He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
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I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
last night I used snow as a chaser
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize