Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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