Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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