Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize