2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize