I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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