Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
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you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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