i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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